Summer is OVER. Now what?
I look back at the month of May like it was an eternity ago. After 9 loooong months of early mornings, rushed breakfasts, packed lunches, forgotten folders the school year was coming to an end... and my momma heart could not have been more ready!
I know there are those of us who look at summer and think "Dear Lord what am I going to do with these humans for three months!". Don't get me wrong I'm not judging. I get it. Our tiny people have a way of taking energy from us even when we had no more left in our bodies to give. But, I am the mom who absolutely can not wait to have that first week of sleeping in until 8 and eating breakfast in spurts while laying around the house watching cartoons. It fills my cup.
Notice the key words in that sentence above- that first week. Yep, that first week is a gem. No one is bored yet. The pool is still fun. The trampoline park hasn't cost you an arm an a leg yet. The kids haven't had twenty two friends over all starving an acting like walking tornadoes. Its all new and fresh and FUN!
As summer progressed we took our planed vacations. Some a short drive from home others a destination getaway. I look forward to these planned trips all winter. Sand, sun, river time, family. You know what those things all require? Preparation. Packing. Planning. Sometimes going on vacation has me so wound up that I am mad as a hornet before we even pull out of the drive. I know. Mom for the win right... ugh. I could get into the whole organizing a hotel room and unpacking everything when we get back but I am pretty sure most of you reading this are nodding your heads as you read and playing out your own scenarios in your minds.
So you plan and prep and tote the tiny humans around for the summer months. After it is all said and done you look at your calendar. I remember vividly this specific day Jaymes asked me what the date was. I don't think I had paid attention to the calendar in weeks because... summer. It was Friday, August 2. The flipping 2nd!!! All of the sudden the summer I had been so excited for and the trips and the plans and the playdates that, in the moment, seemed to crawling by were just a memory. My kids were starting school in less than two weeks! The drained, exhausted, no more ideas, heavens sake play outside, no we aren't having friends over today, can I run an errand on my own mind set was replaced by a deep sadness. Did I play with them enough? Will they remember the family time we had? Will their childhood be full of sweet summertime memories like mine was? Had I wished it all away?
So much of being a mom, or parent at all, is summed up in the quiet moments we have with ourselves when the work is all done. When we take inventory of our days and interactions with our babies. I try not to be too hard on myself. I have impatient moments. I have moments where the idea of sitting all alone not needed sounds oh so dreamy. However, in taking my inventory regarding my children's summer I highlight this. I gave it my all. From packing their bags, and not forgetting their favorite shirt, down to hiding special treats in their backpacks for the plane ride just to see their smiles and make it that much more sweet. I mommed HARD! That's why at the end of a whirl wind summer that was full of long days and short months my exhaustion was blanketed by the intense tugging on my heart that longed to have even more time with my kids. Uninterrupted. Unscheduled.
I realized that 11 of my sons 18 childhood summers have come and gone. 8 of my daughters have joined his. These times are fleeting and precious and stressful and tiring. They are also irreplaceable. Moments in time I will long to remember...the smells of their skin and touch of their tiny hands. Oh mercy let me get a tissue!
School has been back in session for three weeks now. It feels like we have this early schedule down pat so far. I dove right back into my boutique. Keeping busy for most of the day. I needed a photo of the kids for a frame and remembered one taken this summer at the beach and went thumbing through the thousands on my phone I still haven’t sorted. My heart was full as I took the time to slow down and reminisce over the time we had. Those sweet little faces were lit up in every photo. They were curious and happy. That's what I needed to see. That it was enough. That the time we spent together was full and meaningful. That we may not have had all the sleep overs they asked for or made it to the museum but we were together I know them deeper now. Maybe that is what summer is really for. It gives us time to pause and study our kids. To learn what that look means on my sons face that isn't quite so little any more. Or, learn what really fills my daughters self worth to overflowing.
So, now what do I do? What do I do with this time I have. Strangely even the hours I have while they are at school get lost in the breeze and I can end the day not knowing what I accomplished! However.... This momma has plans. I plan to grow my business. I plan to give myself the time to be active. I plan to focus on my spiritual needs and get in line with Gods plan. Also, I plan to be first in carline. Because I miss those little turkeys more than they will ever know.
With love, Katie
PS. The photo that is with this post is what the kids both say is one of their favorite memories from the summer. It wasn’t on an expensive trip or at a new location. It was home in our back yard. They took branches I had cut off of trees and made a fort... under their already super cool climber but for some reason this was waaaaayy better🤣